Outcast of Pain
by Saiyura
Summary: Leo's been gone, but not by his choice. Now he suffers, Raphael, from bringing his brother back home. Can he escape this hell his life had turned to? Rape non con abuse suicidal thoughts isolation trapped hostage beating Raph/Mikey Leo/Raph hint Leo/Mike
1. Divided

_Written for Snee, Jee, and Chi! Should be roughly three to four chapters. I was in a pissed off mood when i did this._

**Outcast of Rape**

The room was darker than it should have been to his eyes use to the night. They burned with fire in an ethereal rage as they clawed at each nook of the room for any moving shadows that seemed darker than the surrounding area was. It was impossible not to feel trapped and scared in this situation, his new and lost situation, before he spotted the door. A red maple door that caused his eyes to grow brighter with his rage that he forced under a lock and key before thrown into the storm and into the watery depths of his well lidded emotions, which now he knew how to control for this… problem.

His breathing quickened, he cursed at that fact, as he pushed open the door hearing the eerily 'eek' of its hinges before, with his eyes wide and fully alert, he spotted the sleeping form on the bed with its shell to his back. He couldn't think for a few seconds as joy and fear swept through him battling to control his over panicked mind.

"Hey," he called out walking forward as he closed the door. "Hey…" he couldn't say the name not with his tongue so heavy and his chest pounding trying to crack his plastron open so it could spill his heart, lungs, and other organs upon the floor. "You awake?" his feet made no sound as he walked over to the still body, his hand reaching out as they touched the base of the neck of the turtle on the bed.

A started sound erupted from the beak cracked and bleeding, "Wha-?" the turtle called out looking up into golden eyes. His own deep chocolate, nearly coal colored in this dark, started at the golden caramel. His breath hitched as he blinked back tears and his throat convulsed as if swallowing.

"Leo, bro?" Fear swept through his body as Leo broke down into tears his arms wrapping around the startled form before he cried out his body shaking. "Leo… god…" He wrapped his arms around Leo's shoulders pulling him further into the hug hoping to comfort his own raging emotions that boiled under the water threatening to destroy the lock.

"Raphie!" his brother's use of the childish nickname that Michelangelo used caused Raph's heart to turn violent as his stomach made a move to heave. "Raphie…" Leo repeated that word over and over as he nearly caused them both to fall to the floor.

"Leo!" Raph felt more of his fear well up as he placed a hand over Leo's mouth. "Shush, bro, now ain't the time nor place ta have a cryin' fit! Keep ya voice ta a minimal!" Leo didn't seem to understand Raph's concern as he cried even louder around Raph's hand making Raph's eyes close in pain from how tight the grip was becoming. "LEO!" his voice was a high pitched hiss of pain that didn't seem to effect Leo at all as he cried harder into sobs that wracked both Leo and Raph's bodies.

He closed his eyes scared of what his brain knew was the only safe solution to get his hysterical brother out of this place that held him for months away from his family. Tears fell down his cheeks as he pulled out his kunai, Leo's kunai he had which Leo had dropped the day they realized he had been abducted, and raised it high above his brothers head with the butt aimed to strike.

He closed his eyes again, never realizing he had opened them in the dark, at the sound of the metal hitting flesh, the feel of blood dripping onto his arms as Leo slumped against him causing him to truly fall to the ground.

Panic flew through his core as he began checking to make sure that Leo wasn't dead, fear of the hit being too strong breaking through his brother's skull piercing the brain and… Tears welled up behind his eyes causing painful pressure which he forced down at the steady rhythm of breathing and he knew without a doubt his brother would be fine except for a headache in the morning or whenever he woke up next.

* * *

His panting breath could be heard echoing through the sewer as he shifted the _burden _on his shoulders. He would never tell his brothers what he had found, where he had found _it_, or what had happened to this _precious package _he had lugged from miles and miles back to his family, his _clan_. His brothers, he knew for a fact, would be out looking one last desperate time for the lost _burden _he carried now. His father would be lost in meditation searching the plains for his _dear _and _precious _student.

A scoff came to his dry lips at this thought. His _precious _student. His only _true _son. The one he cared for more than any other.

"In the end, you're worth more than I am… and I still went through _hell _ta get ya _back_, aint that somethin', huh, _Leo_?" he laughed in a sarcastic manner as he pushed in the combination to get into the lair before he waited long enough until he knew he had no choice but to walk in and face fate.

An unsteady breath reached his lungs as he did what his body did not want: one step, two steps… ten steps… up the stairs …. He shifted the _dead weight _on his shoulder, _Leo_, he snapped at himself in his own mind, as he opened his door and quickly strutted in before closing and locking it.

The _burden_… the _dead weight_… _NO_! He snapped again, this is ma brother! This is Leonardo Hamato, ma leada… "Damn it, Leo, I hate ya guts and I can't even tell ya that this mess ya in isn't getting' betta." He watched his brother shift on Raph's hammock to get comfortable, pulling the blanket up to his chest and snuggling for lost warmth. "Leo…" he whispered before getting up a list of things he needed and would need later running through his head.

The first thought was the fact that he had not eaten in three days since he left his family in search of Leo, left his family with one thought on his mind: Revenge. He wanted to beat Leo up when he left storming out of the sewers and into the cool crisps of rain and then, with the soft hum of his bike long since trashed, another tally he had then marked to the ever growing under Leo's name, he stormed with his suit on.

It was then that he came to the decision that bashing heads in was a bet he long since needed and it was that thought that had given him the lead to Leo.

Raph shivered as he walked down to the kitchen with the still fresh memory rushed to his head.

_"Ya… ya can't be here!" the man screamed hand over his face in a protective manner. His last chance to save himself, but a failed attempt anyways at the fury of the Nightwatcher looking down at him with each step splashing the water making the steps seem more menacing._

_"What'cha mean by that, punk?" the man, the Nightwatcher hissed at, had been found trying to rape some girl walking home from the nearby story. He'd seen the whole thing from the woman leaving with a small wave to the teller at the desk to the moment a hand was pressed to her lips and she was pushed roughly to the wall where the man strapped her arms high above her head._

_The Nightwatcher didn't hear the words that made the woman weep or freeze, but he watched with seething fury as the woman's skirt raised passed her hips and the man began to pull her underwear slowly down with one hand._

_He didn't waste any time as his manriki-gusari quickly began to spin the air making a noise much like a wasp ready to attack and kill. _

_The noise, the Nightwatcher knew from countless times before, started the man and woman as Nightwatcher laughed dropping down and into their view, "You know what I hate about rapist?" the man stepped back allowing the woman to pull down her dress and rush passed the Nightwatcher with a smile and a 'thank you' to follow in her wake, her food forgotten. _

_The man didn't have time to respond as he seemed far too stunned. The manriki-gusari quickly slammed into his chest sending him skidding a few feet before the Nightwatcher walked over smiling under his helmet before the man screamed, "Ya…. Ya can't be here!"_

_This was his first true lead on what he had failed to find with his brothers over the last two months._

Raph jumped as the hand of Splinter touched his shoulder forcing him to spin around and gap, panting, at the disapproving look on Splinters rat features, "My son, you're mind is drifting far too much."

"I-." a hand silenced Raph making him bite his lower beak.

"No words, Raphael, tell me if you have come across any news upon your brother in your long absence in this home." The demand was straight forward showing Raph's masters disdain.

"I found a lead." The eyes of the rat beaded with hope. "I followed it and… I found him…" He had no need to feel praise as he knew he'd never get any from his master who stood at attention waiting for the news of where his _'precious' _student was.

"_Raphael_?" the anger showed in the pronunciation of the word as Raph still didn't say where Leo was. "Where is your brother?"

"My room asleep." Defeat, anger, betrayal, disgust… hurt… pity… hopelessness… all these emotions flooded into Raph as he watched his father rush past him and up to Raphael's room, but he didn't care as he sat down, no longer hungry, and pulled out his phone to call his brothers home, back to the safety of a full family…

His eyes traveled down to feet and he barked out laughing at what he still wore, "Nightwatcher…" his throat closed on him as tears fell from his eyes, but his voice held steady as he made the calls. He couldn't afford to show how much he hurt, how much he was breaking down… how close he was to actually losing it again.

Besides, he lost it before and never was trusted by his family again; never. He wasn't allowed to leave the house without at least two brothers with him. He wasn't allowed to talk to Casey because Splinter thought the human male was a hindrance to Raph's unsteady emotions. It was like a cage every day that he wanted free from… and when he gave up on the Nightwatcher he knew he was thoroughly beaten.

What else could Splinter take from him that he hadn't already done to himself?

"Yeah," he said. "He hasn't taken that last bit of dignity I earned when I found ma brother." He stood up and headed to the couch stripping the suit off and folding it up tightly into a ball. This would be the last time he ever was that free… he'd never be able to go topside again… not when Splinter saw what Raphael had done to his precious, beloved, and never done a fault brother wrapped snuggly in a ball on Raphael's own hammock, in Raph's own blankets, not worn out a bit because he was out cold on Raph's back who struggled every inch of the way to keep and carry his brother home to his family that excluded Raphael himself ever since Leo had returned from the jungle.

He didn't know how long he sat on the couch staring at the blank TV's, but soon he could hear Mikey and Don's nervous and scared whispers as they came into the lair stopping as they spotted Raph lost in some world they could easily snap him out of.

"Raph?" Mikey called from the door making the red banded turtles head snap up to look at him from the couch. "Are you okay?" Raph nodded as he pointed to his room, Don took the hint as he rushed off, a hesitant Mikey behind him watching a bit shifting his gaze from Raph's room to Raph himself.

"Go, fearless is waitin' with Masta Splinta." Raph stated turning to stare again at the TV's with a dead pained expression to be bared on his face.

Mikey nodded as he left after Don up to Raph's room where Splinter, Raph flinched, greeted them with a warm happy welcome.

He wasn't welcomed in their presence at this joyous and reuniting moment. He wasn't a part of this 'family' that had found their missing brother. His eyes closed as his mirthless chuckle was all that greeted him in the dark expanse of a once loving home while he crawled and snuggled onto the couch thinking of how happy he was that at least he did one thing right… Splinter couldn't deny him that small fact.


	2. Trepidation

_Written for Snee, Jee, and Chi! Should be roughly three to four chapters. I was in a pissed off mood when i did this._

_Well... long gap in between... The story is finished but I'm doing some tweaking because I realized that I don't have ... a proper middle :) But enjoy  
_

**Outcast of Pain **

Chapter Two: Trepidation

Someone was tapping his shoulder. He grunted in annoyance at it. Silence regained his mind and surroundings before again someone tapped on his shoulder shaking him as they forced his sleeping mind to wake up.

"Raph!" his golden caramel eyes opened to slits as he rolled onto his back to see who dared come near the 'freak' and 'destroyer of a family'. His eyes met Leo's concerned orbs as he looked at Raph's slightly shivering body. "Raph?"

"Leave me alone, Fearless." He forced out his words into perfect speech for he knew he'd be reprimanded for 'slurring' his words at the 'perfect' son of Splinter.

"Raph… are you okay?" Raph sighed. He knew his brother wouldn't leave him alone, but something itched at his mind telling him Leo should be in bed… should be under the watchful gaze of their father… shouldn't be even two inches from a 'rampaging turtle with no control'.

"Leo?" His caramel eyes snapped open as he shot to his feet knowing now what he should have minutes before. "Go back ta bed, Leo, ya shouldn' be up naw!" Leo gave him a look before standing straight.

"I'm not going back to bed in your hammock, Raph, that's your room… besides, the couch isn't comfy…" Leo looked down fidgeting with something in his hands that was slightly hidden behind the couch. Raph shrugged it off; Leo had come back and had woken up. "Raph?" he didn't respond as he watched his brother with nervousness. "Thanks for… hitting me over the head…" Leo turned to look away. "I was…" Leo didn't finish as his shoulders began to shake. "I wasn't helping… I … you could have been …." Leo continued to cry as Raph felt distraught over whether to pull his eldest brother into a hug and face the fire of Splinter or stand by and face the disgusted looks of his family and shame of them knowing he didn't care about consoling Leo in his time of need.

_But I'm in need!_

"Raphael." Leo's eyes snapped over to see Splinter standing there watching, a frown in his eyes and upon his features. "Go to your room, rest, Leo come… you must also sleep to regain your strength."

Raph wasn't sure what had happened, but he didn't doubt Leo spotted the undertone of disgust in Splinters voice when he spoke to Raphael, as his body shook with rage his eyes narrowing while his shoulders squared.

"WHY!" he spat viciously taking both Splinter and Raph back. "I'm not going to bed! I don't want to!" Raph watched, he wasn't sure what happened to make him see this, as Leo seemed to fidget more looking around as if he was trapped… as if something was going to come and get him dragging him back to the hell hole Raphael had found him in that prior night.

Leo took a step back as Splinter stepped forward calmly calling his name. Leo stepped back as his eyes glazed over in fear making Raphael freeze in place. Leo's shell scraped against the wall as he smashed into it while he slowly began sliding down till he could hide his face in his legs crying so forcefully that Raph felt his heart break. All anger he could have felt vanishing as he stayed in his spot while Don and Mikey coming out of their rooms hearing this commotion, rushed to kneel beside a distraught leader.

"GET AWAY!" Leo shouted trashing. Splinter pulled back as Leo retreated again into himself.

"My son, please tell me what is ailing you in mind?" Splinter reached out to place a comforting paw on the green scales of Leo's shoulders only to have Leo shiver and curl more into him.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" it was a wail that erupted from Leo's mouth as his breathing was quick and heavy. "Raphie!" everyone froze as Raph's heart sunk into his stomach. "Raphie!" again Leo called out his childish nickname.

Three pairs of accusing eyes drew to his position, three eyes filled with bubbling rage blaming him for this break in their strong brother… their leader.

"Do something!" Don said. "Console him, anything!" the voice wasn't the voice he knew, Don never talked to Raph much after the accident on the rooftops that rainy night was exposed by Splinter to them. "Are you just going to let him call out your name and do nothing!" the words stabbed at him along with the anger, but Raph unsteadily walked forward as his world swam, his stomach twisting… He knelt down next to Leo whispering,

"Ya, bro, I'm here." It was instant. Leo's body relaxed, his hands reached out pulling Raph into Leo's body as he cried pleading in a silent nearly unheard pant into Raph's ear a 'Don't let him, please' before Leo seemed to fade into a sleep that was at once ease to Raph and a torment to him also.

"Take him to his room, Raphael." Splinter stated. "Then go to your own, I shall come to talk later after he is looked after by Donatello." Nothing was said as Raphael followed Splinters orders and in what seemed like hours, half an hour, Leo was snuggled in his bed tears falling down his face as his arms were pried away from Raph's shoulders and under the warm blankets.

Splinter, Donatello, and Michelangelo watched as Raphael left to his own room nothing showing on his face as he gave them a last glance before closing and locking his door.

Raph had never felt so used by anything in his life. His brother, Leo, had seemed so strong during parts of the days before he was confined, strapped, and locked away during violent fits in his room. The only person who seemed to calm him was the person his family didn't trust: himself.

It had gotten to the point that even he was feeling the strain of this new change in the routine he came to accept. He was thrust into his brother's life, always by Leo's side, nearly shackled and muzzled to appease Splinter that this rabid 'dog' wouldn't hurt the thing the rat loved the most. It was almost as if they were having fun seeing how worn down he could get when he had to handle Leo's violent out bursts that even he was growing scared of.

At first it was Leo's fists Raph had to take until one day Splinter returned Leo's swords. Then it was his blood he saw instead of bruises littering his arms and body. He wasn't sure why but he thought, every time he would patch up a thin laceration, that his family had done it to rid themselves of him quicker.

"They ain't gunna do it, they make their out of control brotha do it; he can't even control his epasodes!" he cursed in Leo's room, his nest of blankets pulled into a pile at the edge and farthest corner. Yeah, his father gave him tattered blankets instead of the spare futon to sleep in so he could keep the peace with Leo at night.

This wasn't any different though, it was past one in the morning and here he was at sword point, he was exhausted from being a punching bag for Splinter that morning, afternoon, and night, and now here he was barely able to lift a finger at his brother who's eyes were so heavy with sleep that he didn't even know who he was pointing his sword at!

"Leo…" he gulped as he spoke mouth dry. "It's me, bro… Raphie…" Leo's eyes flashed with recognition. "Lower ya sword, okay, Leo?" Raph hissed as the sword was pressed into his jugular before Leo slowly stooped down to his knees, sword never moving and inch, to look into Raph's face.

"Raphie?" Leo's tone was low and husky. "Raphie…" he dragged the word out with a grin licking his lower lip a bit causing confusion to reach Raph's mind. A week he'd been this go to turtle between his family never seeing their brother so messed up and taking all the abuse between Leo's episodes and his families hatred… not once had he been in a situation where his stomach turned telling him something wasn't 'right'. Nothing was right anymore. Not since Leo came back.

"Raphie," Leo swords sliced into Raph's skin making his eyes widen. "God you look good with fear in your eyes…" Raph blinked looking at the sword then to Leo as his brothers hand, he never realized it had gripped his knee for support since Leo was shaking in his squat, slide up and down his thigh in between his legs before rubbing what he assumed to be arousing circles along his inner thighs.

"LEO!" Raph pushed back but cursed as the cut on his neck started bleeding worse than a few drops.

"Ah, you hurt yourself…" Leo chuckled pushing Raph's legs apart making Raph breath heavier. "I won't hurt you, Raphie… I'll make it good…" Raph felt frozen as Leo's hand traveled farther up touching his tail making him shiver, but he felt disgusted instead of the 'pleasure' his brother thought it meant.

"Leo… please…" he begged as the sword was shifted to the front of his throat trailing thin lines that bleed. "Please…" Leo chuckled as Raph watched that rage he'd seen so many times grow behind Leo's once so understanding eyes.

Raph could only bite his tongue to stop his screams at what was happening. His legs being adjusted to wrap around Leo's waist, his body pulled till he was propped up his shell scrapping the ground with each thrust his brother pounded into him… the banging on his head against the wall and the edge of the metal cutting, slicing, and allowing his neck to bleed before it was tossed aside to having his neck jerked to his left and Leo's hand wrapped around his head, his thumb pressed into his eye causing pain as it was repeated, but softly, slammed into the wall with each pant and murmurs of 'you feel so good, Raphie' and 'So tight, such a good little fuck toy… always so tight'.

Raph wasn't sure when the episode ended but he felt Leo slide out of him, standing up to smirk down at Raph's shaking body with disbelieve of 'did this just happen?' before in seconds the creek of Leo's bed snapped his head to see Leo fast asleep as if none of this happened.

Minutes passed before Raph stood up stumbling out of the room and towards the bathroom where the tears left a trailed alongside the blood that dripped form between his thighs down onto the ground. He never knew that there was another hell to the one he was living but he had found it.

As Raph stared down at the ground he wondered what type of shower he should do. His father and Donnie told him that he was only allowed cold showers to preserve hot water, torture he figured since he was a turtle and cold water nearly made him pass out after three minutes.

"Can't do anything about it." He laughed as he turned on the tap and let it run for a few seconds before stepping in and relaxing at the feel. He sighed running a hand over his neck, hissing at the wounds before he allowed any and all evidence vanish from him of what happened.

"They wouldn't even care though." Raph opened his eyes the water a perfect excuse to allow his tears to show. "They can't 'care' about somethin' as 'disgustin' as me." He laughed as he remembers how ironic it was that the Nightwatcher had found Leo through a rapist and here he was being raped.

Where was his vigilant to come save the day? Where was his silver looking knight defender of the weak and unprotected? Where was the justice he deserved?

"Raph?" Raph jumped slipping and smashing his already bruised head against the wall as he stepped on the soap, which Splinter or Donnie placed there just for him he bet, and looked to see Mikey staring at him with wide eyes. "Raph, what happened to you?" he rushed over seeing the cuts and bruises covering his brother's arms and legs.

"It ain't nothin' ta worry abou', Mikey." Raph stated. Out of them all, Mikey seemed to be the only one who didn't hate him as much… he just hoped though. It would kill him if Mikey turned more into Don or Splinter.

"It is!" Mikey dropped to his knees, Raph flinched away diverting his eyes, and Mikey all but stopped in pulling Raph over to him to check how deep his wounds were. "Raph…" the fear in Mikey's voice caused Raph to feel his walls crumbling. "Who… who did this?" the tears didn't come but disbelief did as he looked at Mikey seeing the truth.

Naïve. Trusting… confused… Mikey didn't know what was happening and he wouldn't know. Splinter and Don would never let him know… how …. Raph had no words for this as he gave one small mirthless chuckle.

"Nothing," he stated getting up. "Did this to ma self." He nodded as he felt that was a believable lie.

"Liar! I can tell a sai and a sword cut apart!" Raph cursed inside his head forgetting that Mikey could tell them apart; Mikey stood also. "And those are from a sword! Did the foot do this?" The foot… god he hadn't fought one of them since he was banned from the outside world. Fuck, they'd be more merciful then his family!

They wouldn't rape him, they wouldn't degrade him, and they wouldn't lie to their family about what they were doing to their own family MEMBER!

"Fine! Yeah, I went up top, Mikey, lost… got sliced the fuck up and… oh, what else do ya wanna know, huh?" he snapped as Mikey pulled away. "Yeah, I thought so! Just go to bed, I can take care of ma self."

Mikey was silent for a while as Raph turned off the water, shifting his legs so Mikey wouldn't realize how bad he was shaking and how much it hurt to stand. He never knew being raped hurt this much, emotionally he knew he'd be fine if Leo never found out about it, he knew Leo never remembered his fits, and if Mikey just stayed innocent…

"I'm getting Don and Master Splinter." Raph's head shot up to look at Mikey as the turtle left him standing there in the middle of the room, the bleeding still steady from his neck but the bleeding form 'down there' between his legs was no longer… he hoped it would stay that way.

"Mikey, I told you, it's late." Don's voice was a yawn.

"My son, there is nothing to worry about with your brother, he can take care of himself." Loving voice of Splinter. Raph shivered with disgust as Mikey entered first dragging them both in. He didn't miss the looks that were given. The looks of 'I'm not treating you' and 'I am awake because of filth like you?' from both family members.

"See, Raph's hurt! He went and got beat up b the foot." Raph flinched back into the wall.

"Is that true?" Splinter asked.

"Yes, Master." He'd clean up the mess in the room after he got back in there.

"You left Leo alone? Raph, how could you?" Mikey gave the two a confused look before he looked at Raph.

"Now isn't the time! He's bleeding!"

Don and Splinter blinked before looking at each other, "We need to make sure Leo's okay first, Mikey… Raph, you know how to bind wounds." And with that they left as a dismissal.

"Mikey," Raph watched as anger bristled his youngest brothers shoulders. "Leo isn't alright, and I can treat ma own wounds."

"That isn't the point!" Mikey turned stopping to step back a few paces from Raph making his head fall to look at the ground. "You're hurt."

"Doesn't matter." Raph grinned as he rubbed the top of Mikey's head in a playful jester, but inside he was crying cursing everything… he just wished no one ever found out... "I gotta grab the medi kit. I'll see you in the morning, get some rest."


	3. Serenity

_Written for Snee, Jee, and Chi! I was in a pissed off mood when i did this._

Review Replies:

xXturtleloverxX: It's not that I hate him, I love him, but when I started writing this for Jee and Snee, they both like making the turtles suffer (mainly Raphael), and this is how the story came out :)And I love making Raphael Suffer in some form ;;; I'm sadistic that way.

Monika: Haha Thanks... and Sorry? Yeah... The whole 'turn of pity' was hard to plan out like this :P Glad it seems to show :) I hope Snee loves it also :)

coherency: Well, I based this on actual tests really. Post traumatic experiences can actually change the way a person acts. Leo was raped and abused while in the care of the person who held him captive. He developed Stockholm syndrome towards his captor. When Raph took him away from the abuse Leo had to subsitute the abuse on someone else, some form of place he knew or comfort: Raphael, since he saved Leo. And the reason why Raphael is hated by his family is because when something, like the threat or actual act of killing or attempted killing will change the view of anyone, including family, to the point that their emotions/trust/love/ etc has been severed and replaced with something different/opposite. I've seen this happen/read in several cases where this actually happens. So instead of the positive emotions that his family had for him they became negative and destructive. Hope That helps :)

vitaedigest: I'm planning on quick updates :3

oChaoticDarlingo: haha... you and everyone else (Jee) is pestering me to explain. Either I'll end up writing a story about the time or do a small end story as the last chapter ;P not sure which. XD

Aroa S. Quadrale: Haha well... yes, darker is the best... in my opinion! And you'll see what will happen in this chapter :) might be good, might not XD

**Outcast of Pain **

Chapter Three: Serenity

It had been days since then and Raph had watched as Leo had improved, much to Raph's relief. He wasn't sure how long he could take the abuse from Leo. He could deal with Leo yelling and the fighting but… not what had happened last time.

Splinter, relieved at Leo's growing recovery, had moved Raph back into his room where he again spent most of his time training and waiting patiently for any chance to get out of this hell. He never wanted to be 'trapped' it wasn't like him.

"Raph?" Mikey's small voice broke through his thoughts of escape as the door slightly opened as Mikey came in eyes down to the ground.

"What'cha wan', Mike?" Raph grunted out setting his weight back down to sit up and watch the nervousness in Mikey's body. Raph knew Mikey didn't want to be in this room just from how he fidgeted.

"I… I wanted to know how you… your doing?" Mikey looked up then back down turning to be half facing the door and him.

"Fine, bro, go back ta ya cartoons." Raph stated as he laid back down getting ready begin counting his weights for another rept.

"No." Raph blinked. "I don't see you anymore, Don and Master Splinter don't even seem to care… and Leo… I don't even know what to say about him." Raph shifted his eyes to look at Mikey shivering. Something was wrong and it was more than being in his room. "He's… not the same, no matter how much Splinter and Don tell me he'll get better… I can't see it."

"What'cha talkin' abou'?" Raph sat up again watching Mikey sit against the door. "Mikey?"

"It's… you wouldn't know since you always are locked in your room these days… but… he doesn't act like himself… when we're alone…" Raph felt his chest tighten as he watched tears fall down Mikey's face.

_Leo didn't… He couldn't have to… oh god, if he did… it's my fault…_

"Mikey," he slowly got up watching Mikey curl in onto himself. "What happen?"

Mikey turned to look away almost embarrassed that he was bringing this up to Raph.

"Michelangelo," Raph watched the shields around his brother crumble as Raph sat down pulling Mikey into his arms. "What did Leo do ta ya?"

Mikey bite his lip his body shaking, "At first I … I thought it was nothing, just a few touches…" Raph stomach dropped. "Then he started getting more… physical… I don't know…" Raph pulled Mikey more into his arms hushing him.

Leo was dead. He didn't care what happened to himself as long as he didn't allow Leo to ever touch Mikey again, "How?" but he had to know, was Mikey… raped?

Mikey looked at Raph for a few seconds before relaxing into Raph's arms happy for once to be safe and free, "He kept touching me 'there'…" he blushed, he shouldn't tell Raph this. "My tail… he… tried to…" Raph froze silencing Mikey with a finger.

"You didn't let him, right? He didn't get that far?" Mikey furiously shook his head mortified and he blinked at the sheer relief crossing Raph's body.

"Raph?" Raph 'hm'ed to his brother. "Did he do the same to you?" Raph shook his head, his brother didn't need to know about him being raped by their eldest brother. "I'm glad." Mikey hugged back, "Can I stay in here with you?"

"Yeah, bro, ya can."

The next few weeks were stressful as Leo, Don, and Splinter took turns to nearly dragging Mikey away from Raph's side. The orange banded turtle, at first just accepted it before long growing annoyed. He'd soon locked himself and Raph into Raphael's room, which forced Raph to actually clean it up so neither tripped over the weights and other things Raph had stashed in side it.

"I don't get why they act like this!" Mikey pouted in a furious haze after he had just came back, dodging Donnie and Splinter. "They act like you're going to lose your head and kill me." Raph flinched feeling sick remembering how he almost did that to Leo. "You only lose it when… I don't know… someone pushes you over the edge! I mean last time you nearly bludgeoned me I was provoking you. When you nearly stabbed Leo it was because he left and never kept in contact… You two were always so close…"

Raph didn't speak as he felt his nausea step up a notch. Why did Mikey have to do this every time the day drew near its end?

"Mikey, Calm down will ya? It ain't the end o' da world." He had to deal with this whole problem from a year and now he'd dragged, no he didn't… Leo did when he started 'touching' Mikey…

"IT is!"Mikey explained hugging Raph from behind which caused Raph to tense up slightly, it wasn't lost to Mikey though. "And… it's all because we... _they_… treat you like crap!" Raph turned in Mikey's grip looking at his brother beginning to cry. "I can't believe how mean I was to you!"

"It's da past, Mikey, and I don't really care… Now stop cryin' and go ta bed." Mikey shook his head hugging tighter. "Michelangelo…"

"Tomorrow can we run top side?" Mikey questioned. "You and me? Like we did before our family turned shit side up?" Raph had to laugh as Mikey imitated him on one of his good days.

"Maybe." He hugged Mikey. "Go to bed, bro."

The conversation with Mikey, four hours earlier, left Raph confused. Mikey came to realize, after being pushed to see this…. Situation… he was stuck in and it bothered him. Splinter, he noticed, was becoming aggressive as Don did. Leo, thankfully, hadn't had the time or chance to do anything to Mikey.

Raph's eyes closed suddenly as sleep over took him. In seconds he was away from this world of terror and in a world where nothing existed. Though it didn't last long as something gripped his neck forcing it backward straightening out his neck, straining the muscles.

"Raphie." His spine shivered as he shakily opened his eyes to see narrowed chocolate orbs. "Raphie, you've been very bad." Raph's eyes grew as he froze unable to move from the spot as his own sai was placed against his throat and the pale almost unseen scares from that night.

"Leo…" he gulped. "What'cha doin'?"

Leo didn't respond as he shifted the hammock spilling Raph to the ground, a cut thin and deep being formed by this action across his neck, until he was flat on the ground with his plastron and face in the stone.

"Time to teach the turtle he can't do things without permission, hm, Raphie?" Raph didn't have much time to figure out the meaning as the back of his head smashed into by Leo's foot. He turned his head as Leo set his foot on Raph's spine putting weight onto it.

"God you look so good, Raphie…" Raph gasped as he was flipped and kicked into the wall. Why was his room so far from everyone else? Why did he have to pick the room that was practically sound proof? _WHY_ was Leo doing this to him?

Pressure on his hips told him that he had been straddled. The feel of cold metal against his hips told him he had to be still, but what caused his body to panic was what Leo whispered as he leaned down to Raph's ear, "Make this worth my wild, Raphie, and I won't be visiting Michelangelo after you…" and the trail his tongue made as he laughed softly.

"Don't you dare touch him!" Raph hissed as he felt the pressure from Leo slowly rocking into him. "He… he doesn't need to know what a freak you've become!"

"FREAK!" Raph paled as pain stock up though his body before he looked at Leo. "You think I'm a freak, Raph? You think I don't know how much you love this… how I can feel you shiver with lust as I touch you like this…" Leo laughed kissing long and hard against Raph's beak. "You keep asking for me to fuck you senseless with each fleeting gaze you send my way…" Leo rocked into Raph's hips his anger softly turning into a violent rage to, again, rape his brother who had no chance or ability to stop him unless he wanted someone innocent to suffer for it.

"Leo," Raph panted out. "Drop dead!"


	4. Arduous Subjugation

_Written for Snee, Jee, and Chi! I was in a pissed off mood when i did this._

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Who am I. Well. I'm just Me: Hm... Confusing? *looks at last chapter* How? :) Well maybe you'll understand a bit more on this chapter. No Raphael and Leonardo were not a couple. Yes, Raph is taking Leo's 'abuse' because he is protecting Mikey. It's a small 'Mikey/Raph' Pairing XD Anything else, I'll reply and explain.

**Outcast of Pain **

Chapter Four: Arduous Subjugation

The morning was sown with pain, anger, resentment, and the thoughts of actual death. He had found his brother, Leonardo, and now he was suffering the utmost horrors at the turtle's hands. The petty things were the violent outburst, the small cuts and scratches, and the punishment. The worst was the threat to Mikey's safety, rape at Leo's hands, and waking up in a puddle of his own blood. He knew it was far too early for Mikey to come seek refuge in his room, but it was far too soon for him to know how bad Leo had lost it also.

"God," Raph's voice was hoarse. "If ya up there… can ya… fix my family?" he closed his eyes laughing. He still loved his family enough to ask something that may or may not be there to fix his hell? Peachy!

Time seemed to shift in and out as Raph tried to move, failing every time, before he just laid there seeing his ceiling, splattered in blood, and his eyes turned to look at the door countless times from the faintest sounds. He just couldn't bring up the energy to get up and make sure Mikey never saw him like this. To lock his door.

All Raphael could do was lay on the ground weak and broken. His breathing and beating heart his only company until the moment he was dreaded came. Soon, his heart beating rapidly, he heard Mikey's steps nearing his door.

"Raph?" Mikey's voice behind Raph's steel door. "Hey, are you okay?" Raph made an attempt to move but he couldn't feel his body. Was he a mess? Would Mikey see what Leo had done? "Raph, I'm coming in, okay?"

_No… No, don't come in, don't see me like this! Mikey, please! _Tears prickled Raph's eyes as his door was opened. The light that streamed in was dim at most, but that didn't' matter. It was still bright enough that Raph heard Mikey stop only a step into the room crying out his name.

"God, Raph… Raph… no…" Mikey was crying. IT was his entire fault, all Raph's fault. "Don!" Mikey screamed rushing out of the room to his brothers, the genius.

"Damn it Mikey!" Don stated being dragged into Raph's. "Holy…" Raph felt his shame rise even worse. Another thing his brother could hold over him. "Raph…" hesitant, scared, sad… disbelieve. "Oh god… Raph…" shaking hands began to push against his chest to start shaking him.

"Hurts… don't…" Raph hissed out weakly.

"RAPH!" Mikey threw his body onto Raph's hugging him tightly. "I thought you were dead!" Raph laughed forcing his eyes opened to look at Mikey then to shift over to Don.

"Tired… 'igh'." He stated closing his eyes again before they were flew open as Don pushed harder on his chest making him silently scream out curling into a ball.

"Don't fall asleep!" Don hissed in anger. "You… you look like you just through yourself off the empire state building! What did you do to yourself! Are you trying to get pity, huh, Raph?"

"You think he did this to himself?" Mikey gasped in disbelief. "Raph is many things, Donnie, but he's not suicidal or an attention whore!"

"How would you know, huh?" Don spat out as he stood up forcing Mikey to do the same. "Why is it that 'he' found Leo, Mikey? He's probably the one who kidnapped him… hurt him… did all that stuff! Why don't you think for once about WHY during Leo's episodes he always calls Raph's name?"

"You're lying!" Mikey pushed Don back before Raph blinked twice his brother on the floor screaming in pain as he clutched his arm. Don's staff was out, his breathing heavy, but his eyes were filled with panic and fear.

"Get out!" Raph weakly yelled forcing himself to stand his fear for his youngest brother over powering all his pain and sore muscles. "Out… of my room… Don." He felt dizzy his world spinning as he widened his stand his arms around his chest but his glare was stronger than he'd ever felt it directed at any person, even this 'Leo'.

"I … I didn't mean to…. Mikey, Raph… I-."

"Get the fuck outta my room!" Don turned running out of the room as Raph closed his door locking it before collapsing to the ground pain over running every part of his body. Just what had Leo done to him!

His eyes traveled to Mikey who whimpered continuing to hold his arm. He felt horrible watching his brother knowing that under his pain he was most likely struggling to understand what had just happened to cause his brother, the pacifist in the family, to suddenly lose himself in rage and attack. Raph knew. He knew the second that Don entered his room that Mikey would see the true face of his family. See what he saw every day now. He never wished this for Mikey and it was far too late to even pull him up to the warmth of his family, all except Leo.

"Mikey?" he coughed twice before dry swallowing. "Ya okay?" Mikey whimpered. "Come on, bro, speak ta me!" Raph forced himself to crawl over to Mikey's prone body shivering, even going so far as FLINCHING at Raph's soft touch to his shoulder. "Damn it! Mike, I can't help ya if ya don't tell me where it hurts!"

Mikey uttered a weak, "Arm." As he shifted wide panicked eyes to Raph.

"Shush… yer fine…" he touched the arm seeing a contusion but it wasn't broken… he smiled. "A nasty bruise though… but yer fine." He pulled Mikey closer into a hug covering him in his own blood but pleased that he was fine. Gratified that it wasn't something that would hinder his brother and his new escape plan. "Ya wanna get outta here, Mikey?" Mikey hic-cupped a yes. "Good cause ya not stayin' here no more… not with them doin' this ta ya."

Raphael sat at the table a couple of days later, Mikey not even two feet from him eating his food, before Leo and Don came into the room. The two were silent as they watched the heated glare from both brothers.

"Mikey," Leo turned to watch Don begin to explain only to be silenced as Raph chuckled. "Shut up, I'm not talking to you." Leo turned his attention to Raph, his body still bound in a multitude of bandages from how severe the wounds Leo delivered to him were, who continued to laugh as he got up, the lacerations and bruises still clear on his skin that was not covered by Mikey's pour first aid job.

"Doesn't matta, Donnie, he ain't gunna listen ta scum like ya… so ya might as well leave da room." Both Donatello and Leonardo were shocked as Mikey pushed the bowl away standing up, bandages covered his shoulder to his elbow, something that had happened the day after Donatello's attack that he received from Splinter, before he walked next to Raph.

"Raph and I are leaving… it's obvious neither of us are welcomed here." If their shock could turn into disbelief and fear then it would have as Raph shoved them to the side moving.

"My sons?" Splinter called seeing this. "What is-?"

"Aint gunna listen to no rat no more." Raph spat. "And I aint ya son, Splinta, not when ya treated me like some freak." He had never felt so strong before, but Mikey… he had to keep his brother safe from these people who would threaten him… kill him… "Come on, Ape said we could crash at her place… by da way, Donnie boy, she aint too pleased with ya… Neither is Casey…" he gave a malicious grin as they bother turned leaving.

Raphael was half way up the ladder before he stopped, Mikey no longer visible, and looked at his broken family, "No matter what you've done to me, Leo, Don, Master, I'll still consider you family… no matter what you've done to me." And with that said he left through the sewers his eyes scanning the shadows for anything that seemed darker than the area around them.

**THE END**

...

Not Really, one other chapter to explain Leo's situation to you all... Jee was forceful about it!


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